funny military jokes

Funny Military Jokes - Funny Military Jokes: Laugh at the tough times this Thanksgiving when family time is tougher than usual

One medical person calls another in the group to tell them that he is HIV positive. Since this man had just returned from a business trip to Thailand, he thought he was dead all day. In fact, when he found out about it, he was not angry, he felt relieved that he was living a new life!

Funny Military Jokes

So let's all laugh and celebrate a day that was great for the New Englanders and not so great for the Indians.

Military Jokes Archives

We've heard it all before (well, most of it) BUT we'd love it if you shared your funniest joke or best prank with us in the comments below.

Everything goes! From basic training to unisex restrooms, we call them "heads" in the Navy and "toilets" in the Army.

Whether you're looking for a little humor during a family crisis (we all have a family member at the table) or need a laugh at work, these jokes will make you feel like you're having boys (girls) . or both, too.

1 Death in the Desert: Former US Army soldier killed in Ukraine. Action

Military Jokes: So Bad They Are Good!

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RecPak is an outdoor food supply that saves weight, space and time in the toughest of places - just add water.

Praesidus honors the tradition of military watches. With a solid design and classic vintage style, get a heritage military watch today! Veterans Day is celebrated on November 11 in the United States to honor military veterans and victims of all wars. In honor of the occasion, we've compiled a list of the funniest jokes ever.

Every November, the United States honors soldiers and veterans who fought for the country. From us to you, Happy Veterans Day to all who have served and continue to serve.

Photos With Funny Quotes About Soldiers. Quotesgram

A soldier of the aggressive army rushes into the class and shouts: "If it wasn't for me, you would all be speaking German!"

Veteran Robert walks into a bar and orders a drink on Veterans Day. The man on the right starts the conversation. After an hour and many drinks, they find out they are both Vietnam veterans.

This 97-year-old American man arrived in Paris by plane. It took the man several minutes at French customs to find his passport in his hand luggage. "Have you ever been to France, sir?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. He admitted that he had visited France. "Now, you should know enough to prepare your passport."

"I didn't have to show it last time I was here," said the big American. "Impossible; Americans must always show their passports when they arrive in France!" The Frenchman answered, then explained quietly.

Army Jokes: Thank You For Your Service & Funny M E M E S By Walter Pine Memes

"When I went to Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single French person to show it."

The drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets and, as he left, he turned to the cadet and said, "I think when I die, you'll come dance on my grave." ."

The student replied: “Not me, sergeant… no, sir! I told myself that when I get out of the army, I won't stand in line!”

The night before Veterans Day, a father asked his son if he knew why the military was so strict about their uniforms.

Epic Military Humour / Compilation :: Soldier :: Army :: Photo :: Funny Pictures / Funny Pictures & Best Jokes: Comics, Images, Video, Humor, Gif Animation

After 35 years, the military commander retired and fulfilled a lifelong dream by buying a bird ranch in South Dakota. He invited his old friend to go pheasant shooting with him for a week. "Sergeant", the general's new hunting dog, attacked his friend. The dog knew how to poke, pull and pull better than anyone, and his friend offered to buy the dog at any price. The General refused, saying that the Sergeant was the best dog he had ever had and that he would not part with him under any circumstances. The same friend returned a year later for another week of hunting and was surprised to find that the Commander had a new dog. What happened to the old sergeant? - he asked.

"I had to shoot him," the commander complained. "A friend came with me to hunt and he couldn't remember the dog's name. He kept calling him Colonel. After that, the thing that the dog was sentenced to was sitting on his donkey and barking."

Dinner is delicious and satisfying. After that, a guest comes and asks, "Dessert, sir?"

What would your old friend say to you when you asked what was the first rank in the military?

The Army Pranks

If you're a veteran, I can tell you what branch of the military you served in based on how you understand the phrase "protect the building."

If you were in the Navy, you would imagine what it means to hit a building with a mortar and a machine gun.

If you've ever been in the military, you think that means going from room to room and taking out enemies.

If you were in the Navy, that means turning off all the lights and locking the door.

Military Jokes: Laugh Your Way To Tougher Times This Thanksgiving When Family Time Is Harder Than Basic

If you were in the Air Force, that means taking out a five-year lease with an option to buy.

Of course, a simple "Thank you for your service" is always appropriate. However, if you want to express your gratitude in a funny way, we have found some pithy jokes above. Let us know if you have any better Veterans Day puns or punch-lines!

In order to use public access, you must agree to the storage and processing of your data by this website. Being in the military is no joke, but you know what can cheer up those who are serving or have served? Military humor! Funny military anecdotes are a great way to boost the morale of our service members, so share a few of these military stories at your next family or friends gathering for guaranteed laughs.

Looking for military camp jokes? We have one or two here! Looking for some serious jokes about the military? Trust us; we have many of them too. If even one military joke below doesn't make you laugh, we're worried.

Funny Cannibal Jokes For Hungry Man Eaters

5. The officer turns his attention to the young soldier, reprimanding him for not showing up for camouflage training that morning. "Thank you sir." The soldier answers.

7. Oh, are you a survivor of pepper and mustard gas? I, too, am a STORY Soldier!

8. Why does the military have strict dress codes for ceremonies and events? Public CASUAL TEE's are not acceptable.

18. What is the difference between a Navy commando and an otter? One is a cat and the other is an otter!

Funny Motorcycle Jokes (bike And Biker Jokes)

Of course, sometimes it's good to poke fun at competing industries. But sometimes, we also want good clean humor without the chance to ruffle feathers. However, jokes about "pencil eaters" and narcissistic Air Force personnel never get old. You should use any of these jokes carefully.

Looking for more amazing military stories? Share yours with us on our social networks - Twitter, Instagram and Facebook - and see war jokes from other fighters, soldiers and soldiers!

Cassidy Barber is an Associate Editor for MyBaseGuide.com. He received his Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of Alabama in Huntsville. He has been a writer, editor, quality assurance expert, and SEO expert for over four years.

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